BY PHUMZILE NDLOVU
MBABANE – As we celebrate Valentine’s Day today, Nothando Shabangu Dlamini and her husband Acute Dlamini are celebrating their 21st Valentine’s Day as wife and husband.
The two soul mates have been in their matrimonial union for over two decades now. In December this year, the couple will be celebrating 22 years of marriage. We met up with the couple and they shared with us on how they have travelled the journey of love over the years.
Dlamini revealed how he won over Nothando after pursuing her for a year. The couple shared with this publication what has kept their marriage strong over the past two decades and who is more romantic between the two. They also advise couples on the best gifts for Valentine’s Day and social media.
According to a Google search, the story of Saint Valentine is supposedly about a Roman priest who performed secret weddings against the wishes of the authorities in the 3rd century. It was celebrated as the day of romance for a period of time in the 14th century. He was the patron saint of love. The day is considered the most romantic day of the year.
Where are you guys from?
He hails from Mankayane at a place called Emalangeni, Bhadzeni 1 under Ngwempisi Inkhundla, while Nothando hails from Mdumezulu under Dvokodvweni Inkhundla.
Tell us how you won her over.
We met in 1999 and it was not easy. It took her a year to say yes. We agreed that we should take more time to know each other, and, in the process, we became friends. One day, we visited her mother at Dvokodvweni. When we were there, her mother told her that she loved her friend and that she saw husband material in him. Her mother’s words played a key role in convincing her that I was the man for her. I was very fortunate that her mother loved me from the moment we met, and the fact that she spoke well about me went a long way in convincing her to say yes in the end.
What attracted you to her?
The fact that she was a child of God meant a lot to me. Her personality and bubbly spirit also attracted me to her. She is a sociable individual who talks easily to everyone, regardless of their status. How can I not mention her beauty and glow?
When did you get married?
We got married on December 7, 2002, and that is when we became a couple.
Do you celebrate Valentine’s Day?
Yes, we do. We always celebrate it in church. The church always organises a Valentine’s dinner for its couples every year. We always attend the Valentine’s dinner organised by the church.
What did you both get each other on Valentine’s Day?
Since she loves perfume so much, I bought her a Chanel Coco perfume. Nothando bought a beautiful Rolex watch for me.
Who is more romantic between you?
Nothando is more romantic. Every morning, she makes sure she hugs and kisses me goodbye before leaving for work. She does the same when meeting after work.
What has kept the relationship going?
God is at the centre of our marriage. We pray for our marriage every day. Pillars of our relationship include trust, love, patience, selflessness, and forgiveness, among others.
Your favourite place as a couple
We love Cape Town. It’s so beautiful. It feels like you are in a city in one of the developed countries.
What do you think causes breakups in young couples?
Lack of understanding that God is in control of your marriage. If your experience challenges you, make sure you take it to the founder of marriage, God himself. He will provide you with solutions to every challenge you are facing in your marriage. Another factor is the lack of trust between the young couples. In addition, there is a lack of patience for each other. Poor communication is another factor.
What would you advise young couples to do to keep a relationship healthy?
First and foremost, they should put God at the centre of their marriage. Earn trust from your partner. Effective communication is key in a relationship. Without it, a relationship cannot survive. Make sure that your partner is your only friend or companion. Keep no secrets from each other. Rekindle your love for each other every now and then by celebrating special occasions and taking yourselves out (spending quality time together).
What are your top five gifts you recommend for couples on Valentine’s Day?
- Perfume
- Flowers
- Jewellery
- Chocolate
- Occasionally taking each other out for lunch or dinner
Can social media cause rifts in relationships?
Sometimes, it can. Spending too much time on social media can cause rifts in relationships. You will have less time for each other. It compromises quality time for most couples.
What would you advise someone whose partner refuses to be posted on social media?
You need to respect each other’s decisions. If you push it, it might create a rift in the relationship.
